I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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