whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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