Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
