I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
