My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I could make wine with my vomit
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
COCAINE IS GR8
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
