I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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