Sry I called you an 8
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
