I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Your cock deserves a montage
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
