i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
