i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
