Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Acid is not a monday night drug
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize