i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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