your thong is hanging out like whoa
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
The ass gains better be worth it
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