susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize