it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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