hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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