The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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