as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
