i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
