Sry I called you an 8
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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