i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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