Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
