big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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