I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
