PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
