So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
