ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
