I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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