Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
