After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
