how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
