do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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