why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
