she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
