Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
