so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
