I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
