Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
