Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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