I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
its not stalking. its research.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
