ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
