Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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