It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
