just survived the first fart of the relationship.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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