I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
