some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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