those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My ATM looks so different sober.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
