how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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