yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well I just put wine in my tea
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize