Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
