It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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