I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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