if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
