Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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