I murdered the dance floor call the cops
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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