he thought i was a dude.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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