He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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