my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
